A Lesson in Gardening

I am nothing if not a lover of plants. I find that my happy place is surrounded by them, preferably in pots and away from bugs, but surrounded by them nonetheless. I also find that we can learn a lot about ourselves and our lives from studying them.

Recently, I visited a community that I’ve grown to consider my home. I’ve found myself shuffled from place to place most of my life. First, during my childhood through evictions and desperate attempts to avoid suspicion of the abuse I was enduring. Later, a longing for freedom I wasn’t sure I was worthy of and escape I wasn’t sure was possible.

Over and over I was a fragile plant, desperately shooting shallow roots all around me to try to find purchase before I was ripped out of my home and left withering somewhere new. Plants with shallow, wide roots are often those that are growing quickly or plants that die at the end of each season. I was doing my best to adapt to my environment, but never sure that I’d recover from the most recent transplant. Once I was gone from that place, it was never somewhere I could return to. The conditions were not the kind I could thrive in.

Returning to the last place I’d called home stirred a familiar fear in my heart. Fear that all that would remain there was the hole I’d been ripped from, my roots left withering and forgotten. Fear that this home was just as fleeting as each of the homes before, a place I didn’t really belong. A place where I couldn’t truly thrive.

Instead, each footfall into my old home was more grounding than the last. I found myself flowering in the light of the love and laughter around me. It was as if I’d never been pulled from this landing place at all. As if everything bit of love and belonging I'd felt there had just laid dormant, waiting for me to come back.

You see, plants that grow deep roots do so for longevity. To grow stronger and taller. To last through storms and seasons. To flower and flourish and thrive. To return year after year to the place that fosters growth.

Returning to this place I’ve called home, this place and these people I’ve loved so dearly, showed me that for the first time in my life I have allowed myself to have deep roots. I’ve allowed myself a permanent home. And I can’t wait to see what new growth I’ll find there.